28 9 / 2014
Anonymous said: Is ageism ok on tumblr because most people who use it aren't middle-aged? How is an age preference any different to a body type preference?
Ageism as a structural, systemic problem is not okay. Losing out on jobs, etc. because of age is not okay.
However, when it comes to online dating, there is something else at play. Many, many people find that significantly older men going after significantly younger women display predatory and/or grooming behaviors. It shouldn’t take too long going through our older men tag to notice a pattern in how these men assert themselves over the protestations of the women they are messaging. There is a lot of entitlement on display in that tag.
I’d also recommend reading this article about new stats from OkCupid. Even if you don’t want to read it, look at the following graphs. The first shows a woman’s age versus the average age of the men they find attractive. The second shows the reverse.
You can also see this trend in the average age of leading men versus their female costars’ ages
Notice a trend? Surprise! That “something else at play” is just our old friend misogyny. Hooray!
It’s telling that the only people I’ve ever seen complaining about ageism in online dating are men. Looking at these data, I’d have to say that the only ageism coming into play is that of older men against older women. So maybe women—young and old—are just getting tired of the misogynistic idea that we “expire” after a certain age. Guess what? We are still vibrant people after the grand old age of 23.
Stop feeling entitled to young women’s bodies. Stop getting your panties in a twist when we turn you down because we’re looking for a partner who is in the same stage of life as we are, or because we were abused by an older man as a child or teenager, or because we just fucking don’t like you because you’re being a creep.
28 9 / 2014
"You know what else it costs to write about and talk about consent? I’m going to be super real with y’all. It has cost me the vast majority of my relationships with men. Not all at once, but eventually, over time, one by one. It was one sexist joke too many, it was one boundary-crossing-creep-defender over the line. It was the constant microaggressions or the combination of being privileged and defensive about it and unable or unwilling to do any better. Most grew weary of arguing about feminist issues, or about the fact that I wouldn’t let them just win those arguments, even though they usually had no idea what they were talking about. They couldn’t deal with the fact that I won’t allow anyone to say disparaging shit to and about me and mine. Or they won’t or can’t do better after I explain how to do better many many times and finally I have to peace out on them for my own safety. I have at present a tiny handful of guy friends. One I get into arguments with nearly every time we talk. I fear that relationship may go the way of most of my past relationships with subtly sexist men- away, that is to say. Which is really too fucking bad. Because the truth is, I don’t hate men- I hate male privilege. I really like men, shit, I love them actually, some of them. I miss having men friends, but not enough to let the mild misogyny slide. I have got to take care of me and mine. That’s where we clash, because I refuse to just smooth things over, to just let things go. They’re accustomed to deference and I’ve taught myself to drop that habit as best I can."
28 9 / 2014
- The protests are being held in order to achieve universal suffrage in Hong Kong. Although democracy had been promised for 2017 in 2008, China announced this August that Hong Kong people would only be able to vote from a pool of 2-3 specially selected candidates (all of whom would definitely have pro-China sentiments)
- University students held a week-long boycott of classes to protest for true democracy in Hong Kong
- Today riot police were deployed against peaceful protesters. Equipped in full riot gear the police used pepper spray to deter the protesters, mainly students and youths but also some elderly people have reported being sprayed point blank
- It is estimated that over 50,000 people have joined the protest and this number continues to grow
- This is the largest political protest in Hong Kong since our independence from the UK in 1997
- Although the protests remain peaceful, police have now started to use tear gas and have brought out long guns loaded with rubber bullets (there hasn’t yet been a report of any bullets being shot)
- Over 80 arrests have been made including students as young as 16 for taking part in these protests
- They are cutting cell phone receptions in the protest area so that people can’t share any information
- Violence is increasing as police continue to instigate protesters
- All this comes right before the October 1st celebration of the 65th anniversary of founding of the People’s Republic of China
- There are rumours that the PLA (the Chinese army) are going to be brought into the city tonight
More facts about Hong Kong:
- We run under a one country, two systems policy with China meaning that we are part of China but have our own government and laws.
- Protests for universal suffrage have been held throughout the summer but these are the biggest yet
- Anti-China and anti-government sentiments are at their highest levels yet. Survey results showed that 1 in 5 people are thinking of emigrating from the city.
- In June, China issued a white paper essentially telling Hong Kong to remember their place and re-asserting their authority over the city
The scenes from the protest look awful. In my 17 years in Hong Kong I’ve never seen anything like it. The world needs to know about this and say something before we get a recurrence of the Tiananmen Square massacre.
I hope everyone stays safe. Hong Kong stay strong.